The last six months have been a tumultuous time. The rush of emotions: anger, sadness, fury, failure, and hatred – all have been in our face.
Over the last 36 hours I have had some time to think, some time to analyze my life. After the start of the year (which was suppose to be a great year), I lost my dad and went into a tail spin. The blows kept coming…kids, wife, marriage, job – jab after jab I could feel my exterior begin to crumble, my insides became cold and unemotional. The countless blows that my body endured began to break the man I am. I could feel my knees buckling beneath the pressure. Hopelessness began to set in. Desires of greener pastures and pushing up flowers became strong. Choices became of no importance, or purpose. I started living a life without consequences…Decisions became more and more dangerous. Those decisions could destroy everything I have worked so hard to achieve, search for and find.

Over the last 36 hours I have taken a step back, I have looked in the mirror and asked “Who are you becoming?”
I did not like the answers (or excuses) that began rolling off my tongue. As I spewed the garbage out it became like the adults in a Peanuts cartoon.
Nothing was making sense…nothing would make sense until I saw Dad’s face in the mirror, smiling and arms outstretched.
“Son, remember what you have been taught, remember your love, your gentle heart, your own outstretched hands. Matt, put on the armor of God…”, he exclaimed.

As I wiped the tears of amazement from my face, I realized that Dad loved the man I became, not the man I am now. It is time for change…time for me to bring me back for my Wife, my Kids, my brother, sisters and my Mom.
Sometimes it is the memories of loved ones that bring you down and the vision to pick you back up again!

Dad, thank you for the reminder and letting you light shine in our family.
You are missed dearly and Loved always!!!